It was the 5th of October, my due date. I had been in my “labour tunnel” (avoiding any stressful programmes, news etc and just relaxing) for 2 ½ weeks and was feeling like I had done well, I was feeling dopey – full of endorphins and hopefully oxytocin, I had lots of signs, but nothing was actually happening, so as M and I settled down to bed that evening I was feeling disappointed that I would be going overdue. It was about 10:45, we laid in bed and chatted, I was complaining how I felt nothing would happen and that I would probably end up having to be induced like last time. I was getting the familiar scrabbling feelings at my pelvis, prod prod prod, so I was ignoring them, then… prod, prod, pop, pop. I lay there looking wide eyed at M as I felt like someone had just emptied a warm bucket of water over my legs. M grabbed a towel and I moved to sit on the loo, while the waters just kept coming. Fidget was asleep in the room next door so we quietly discussed what we needed to do. I remembered that I had to call the birthing suite if my waters broke, but in my head I also thought that waters breaking wasn’t necessarily a sign that anything was going to happen right away. We called the birthing suite, the midwife said to come in if contractions got to 5 mins apart but if nothing happened by 1 in the morning to give them another call. I hadn’t had any contractions, so I said to the midwife “what if I am asleep?” she sounded a bit amused and said “perhaps set an alarm”. M went downstairs to call his parents to come up from Bournemouth to look after Fidget. While he was downstairs I had my first contraction, I used the breathing techniques learnt at active birthing and it was fine, very manageable. At this point I was feeling really cheery to have a contraction and feeling that I really could do this.


We got some final things into the hospital bag and moved downstairs. Another contraction came which M took a note of the time and put High Society on DVD and went to make some sandwiches. As this contraction ended, the back pain did not and I was struggling to get comfortable again. M returned, another contraction started, M looked at the time, I started to feel concerned and asked “how far apart was that?” he said “well it wasn’t less than 5 minutes…it was 5 minutes”, I said we needed to get to the hospital, which of course we did, but beyond what the midwife had said I had my first feelings that this was all happening quite quickly. M went next door to ask Karen to come round until his parents arrived, while he was gone I had another contraction and leant over a chair. He returned helped me into my trousers. Karen arrived – I was having another contraction, kneeling infront of the sofa, she helped me into the hall where M was putting the bags in the car – another contraction. They helped me into the car – another contraction. M had had time to heat the wheat pack so that was behind my lower back, but there hadn’t been time to attach the tens machine. As he pulled out of the drive I was scared, I tried to keep calm with my breathing, but the contractions were now non stop. It was 11:40. M drove carefully but with as much speed as he could, the roads were quiet but there were so many red lights. I clung with both hands to the over-door handle, it was hard to relax. As each contraction subsided the next was right behind it. In my head I was going over the birth story of my friend who did give birth to her second child in the car on the way to hospital. She had worn a skirt, which did help her pull her baby out and onto her chest. I kept thinking “why didn’t I wear a skirt!?!” as now in my head I was clear what was happening, our baby was coming fast. We had talked about fast labours in class, how they could be violent and painful, but of course a blessing for being so short. Being certain it was a fast labour, and the breathing, helped me keep “a lid on it”. I couldn’t have done it, thinking the contractions could last for 13 hours or something similar. The drive was scary though, but whenever I panicked and started to get a bit hysterical I would just say “relax” or “calm down” and M would remind me of my breathing and I would immediately feel myself coming back to a better head place.


At the turning off the ringroad to Southmead, I knew I was going through transition, it was harder and harder to stay calm, but also my noises changed and I heard myself “mooing”. M heard it too and recognised the noise.


I felt our daughter move down and yelled out “she’s coming!!”. I clung tighter to the handle as M took the corner. From this point we kept hitting red lights, but at each I said quite firmly “M, go through this light” and he clenched his jaw and drove. We passed a policeman and I considered asking M to stop so we could find out if he knew how to deliver a baby!


We arrived at the delivery suite entrance at 12 midnight and M drove to the nearby carpark, but she was so low now, I just yelled “do NOT park here, I cannot walk!!!!” So he drove into the ambulance bay, came round and got me out. I clung to his neck but couldn’t move. He tried to get me back in the car so he could get help, but I wouldn’t move. I was terrified our baby would be born there in the gutter and I could see the lights behind the delivery suite doors so close by. I was very lucid and decided that I had to make as much noise as possible to get someone to help us, so I clung to M and yelled and screamed. A midwife popped her head out and asked if we needed help. M said “yes” and she ran out with a wheelchair. I think she thought I was being hysterical, but M said he explained what was happening and she too got a sense of urgency about her. M had to park the car. I have few visual memories of the birth from this point, but a very strong one is zooming in the wheelchair towards the lit doors, them opening and going straight up a ramp and into room 11 which was directly opposite the doors. Two midwifes took an arm each to lift me from the chair. I knew they would have to examine me so I would have to go on the bed, I called out “I don’t want to lie on my back, it will be too painful”, so they helped me onto my right side and out of my trousers and pants. I am not sure how long it took M to get back as from this point my eyes were closed, but he soon had hold of my left leg. As I got on the bed I felt that I had such a strong sense of what was happening but if they examined me and said “oh you are going really well you are 7cm” or something that I would collapse, that I would loose it. However, as soon as I raised my leg, the midwife said “you can push now!”


(M had parked the car close by and run back with the bags, he said he remembered the tight security from last time, but here someone was waiting at the door for him, as he ran past they slapped a sticker on him and pointed at rm 11.)


They had no time to read my birth plan, which I entirely understand, and much of it by this point was irrelevant. They offered me pain relief, which I would have preferred them not to, as at this point my resolve was getting weak. I grabbed the gas and air but used it only to bite on really through the few following contractions and pushes. I was feeling very lucid, very fit and awake. I felt as in control of myself as I could be. I felt so relieved to have a professional telling me what to do with the pushing and I was able to respond very competently. Each push was as effective as it could have been, I bit down and just got on with it. When she said blow, I blew, when she said push I pushed. As the head crowned I remembered from one of my books that you are supposed to relax and stop pushing to help prevent tearing. So at this point I commented that “it stings abit”, I heard the midwife laugh and say “that’s probably an understatement dear”.


I don’t remember how many contractions it took, about 3 or 4 I would guess. The head was out, and I had forgotten about the shoulders so was surprised by the worse “stinging”. Then she was out, and into my arms. It was 12:14. She was really beautiful, with the recognisable features and black hair of Fidget.


Things were still happening quite fast (our midwife had been pulled out from another slower delivery), so as we gazed at our daughter I did not see the midwife coming with the injection for speeding up the 3rd stage. I had wanted a natural 3rd stage and to leave the cord to pulsate, but as I said there had been no time to read the plan and I didn’t have time to tell her to stop. The midwife said she was disappointed when she later saw my birth plan as she was trying to persuade her other lady to have a natural 3rd stage.


My legs were shaking, but the placenta was out quickly. I had a few stitches there and then, this is something I had said I would prefer if I did tear. Finally I was able to feed her. She went on really well and fed off both sides for ages.


M ran a bath for me, and while I was shaky I was surprised at how fit I still felt, and how strong I was in my legs. The fast birth had been scary, the thought of giving birth in the car on our own in the middle of the night was just too much, it had been very painful with no time to recover, but I was in no doubt it was a “golden ticket” ie that I was very lucky and had been given a great opportunity for a good birth. I was however also aware, that I could have turned it into a sludgy brown ticket, by loosing my head and not coping with the fear and pain. I feel that the active birth classes really helped me to make the most of that golden ticket, by understanding what was happening to my body and having tools and resources to cope and get through it.


I wouldn’t change my birth story, and I wouldn’t change our gorgeous, perfect little girl.

No news, getting rather fed up as I am very uncomfortable. Yesterday I did have some twinges that I thought were promising. During the day I would get stomach cramps coming on with back pain, nausea and a need to go to the loo that would last for a couple of minutes. These feelings would reoccur throughout the day, but got no more than 3/4 hr apart and didn't get very strong. By the evening there was nothing going on.

My feet and hands are very swollen, I feel very swollen all round.



I had hoped that things would move faster really. When I left work I went into my "hermitisation" period and I feel it has worked well. The idea is that at least 2 weeks before your due date you need to let the levels of oxytocin (the labour chemical) build up in your system, along with endorphins that will help make labour do-able. High levels of adrenalin in your system will reduce the oxytocin. So for the last 2 1/2 weeks I haven't heard the news, we haven't had a newspaper in the house, I haven't watched or listened to any programme that would get me annoyed or stressed, it has been romantic comedies, repeats of friends and house makeover programmes all the way! M has been really good and hasn't talked about any thing from work other than "so and so asked after your health today". I have felt really relaxed, and I have got to the point where I am sure I am "cooked" ie dopey, full of oxytocin and endorphins, but nothing is happening...

No news yet, today is my original due date (based on my dates rather than the scan), so I did have in mind that today was a significant date. Lots has been happening, lots of things that could be signs but no contractions. Over the past week the things that have been happening are:

• a show
• back pains
• period pains
• increased bowel movements
• lots of movement right down on my pelvis - lots of scrabbling
• pain in my tailbone
• weird sensations in my cervix
• increased difficulty moving
• abdomen has got much harder
• more hip and bottom pains

I am feeling very dopey which I think is a good sign for the labour hormones, but nothing has happened re contractions.

Saw the midwife this morning, she had a good feel of my belly and said that the back was to the left hand side, which surprised me as wa-was back has been to the right for so long, and even last night was at that side (with toes sticking out to the left), but then I got home and do believe she may be right, which is also a good sign as that would be "optimal foetal position".

Wa wa has also gone up in size, up to now the fundal height has been running slightly behind the curve eg 31cm at 32 weeks, but now at 39 weeks it is 40cm. I have a sore throat at the moment with a cough, the midwife did say that it might delay labour as the body often waits for these type of things to clear up before getting going. This is news to me, I hope she isn't right but I do need to do what I can to shift it.

38 week (+ 1 day) pictures.

Feeling pretty chilled at the moment, enjoying being off work particularly the days I can put my feet up and do nothing. I have needed to put my feet up as they are getting very swollen.


The swollen feet is one of a number of factors that has stopped me from walking too far now (I wouldn't even dare a walk to the high street), 1 is the sheer size of my feet mean that flip flops are the only appropriate footwear, 2 is that the act of walking really gets all this excess blood pumping to the point I can feel and see my arms and wrists swelling up too, 3 is the fact that I keep getting a trapped nerve in my arse as well as hip pain, so find myself hopping around wincing and grabbing my backside. But no matter as I have interesting projects to do at home, such as sort out photos, decorate Fidget's bookcase, reading and then plenty of DVDs and daytime TV to watch.



I am also worried that I shouldn't really drive, as I do feel more dopey and have slower reactions, so home it is.


The days with Fidget are good too, I have tried to make sure we have projects to do at home, as even a walk across to the park could be risky if Fidget decides she is going to have a moment and needs to be chased after or carried home. We have been doing lots of painting and gluing; glitter, sequins, pom poms, whatever she gets her hands on. I have to sit down most of the time, but Fidget is happy to play or bring books for us to read, or sit next to me and draw. My favourite thing is when she sits on my knee facing me and we sing songs together, I love watching her face when she sings or when she is studying my face to get the words right, she does the actions for the songs with her hands and we both smile and laugh and have cuddles. She often now also sings songs to her baby sister or tickles her or gives her kisses. So far from being stressful, my days looking after Fidget can be so lovely, really getting the endorphins going, she is such a joy.


Last week wasn't so happy, as I got an ear infection that really affected my sleeping and eating. I couldn't lie down on my right hand side. At the moment I can only sleep on one side or the other, but must swap regularly due to pain in my hips, so at night I lay down and would go to sleep on my left side but woke up with hip pain, and some ear pain just from lying down and a sore throat. I would take paracetamol and wander around the house on my own until the various pains had died down and I could go back to sleep on my left again. I couldn't eat anything that needed chewing, thing is I was keen not to go and get antibiotics, worrying about the risk to wa-wa, but in the end I felt it was madness to let it drag on, so went to the doctor who prescribed an antibiotic that is applied locally.


But that is now sorted and I am feeling grateful for being able to get comfortable at night again and eat more foods. I know it is foolish but I do feel that things may happen soon, last night I lay down, wee-wa-wa was writhing about something mental and I am sure I was getting some contractions and back pain pulsing in and out, but I went off to sleep and it had all died down when I woke again. Her movements have been quite vigorous, yesterday I felt that she was really trying to get out, she almost seemed to be bracing herself with her feet pushed against my ribs and scrabbling on my pelvis. I really shouldn't make any predictions or she will end up coming late or have to be induced, but it is hard not to hope and draw conclusions from differences this time to last.

Written the first draft of my birth plan, I got some examples from Vivien at active birth classes and copied and pasted a fair few extracts. Hope to discuss it with the midwife on Thursday, here it is...

Birth Plan

In preparation for this birth, I’ve attended active birth classes. Ideally, I would like as active and natural a birth as possible. However, of course the health of the baby is of paramount importance, and also I appreciate that I might well need to be administered with pain relief and need medical intervention if the birth is difficult. The notes below apply to an ideal birth. If it is necessary to deviate from these points, please can:

*The pros and cons for options be explained clearly to me and my husband;
*The implications of doing nothing to be outlined to us.
*Please can we be given as much time as is practical and possible to make a decision

I want my husband Mark to accompany and support me throughout, even if I have to have an emergency Cesarean section.

Environment:
I have been booked (?) into the Active Birth Suite but if for some reason on the day I have to be in one of the normal delivery rooms, I would like if applicable (ie there is no medical reason for me to lie down) and if possible for the bed to be pushed to one side and for me to be offered some crash mats.

Please can the lights be kept as low as possible throughout, including after the birth. I would like my music to be played during the birth.

I am happy to have students present during the birth.

Managing labour:
I would like to have as active a birth as possible – moving around, kneeling, using my birthing ball etc. – and would like to avoid lying on my back. If I need to lie down, I would like it to be on my side if possible. I would also like to have a birthing stool available to try, particularly in later stages when I am tired but still want to remain in an upright position. I understand these are available on the birthing suite.

If our baby appears to be poorly positioned or if labour is not progressing well for some reason, I would appreciate it if you could suggest changes of position or movements which might help. Any general advice as to comfortable active labour positions will also be extremely welcome.


Medical routines and interventions:
I would like intervention in the birth to be kept as low as safety allows, with foetal monitoring used that allows me to move around.

internal examinations? (not sure about this bit, whether I want to minimised them or not)

I would like to avoid the birth being induced if possible. I would prefer for my waters not to be broken artificially unless it is at the end of the 2nd stage of labour and this would aid the birth.

If I need to be on a drip or have baby monitoring during my labour I would still like to be able to move around, so please use a long lead and attach to my arm instead of hand.

I am very keen to avoid tears so would appreciate advice on this. I would also prefer not to have an episiotomy unless our baby needs to be born quickly for her safety.

If a Cesarean is necessary I would like our baby handed straight to me or Mark, if possible.

Pain relief:
For natural pain relief, I plan to use my breathing techniques. I plan to use a TENS machine, heat pack, massage etc.

If medical pain relief is necessary:
I am happy to try gas and air.
I am not keen on pethidine, but would consider it if it was recommended.
If an epidural becomes necessary I would like it to be as low a dose as possible, so that I can continue to feel my legs and be aware of contractions. I would prefer for it to wear off for the second stage as I would like to be able to push our baby out myself.
Please avoid offering me pain relief, I would prefer to ask for it myself

3rd Stage & after birth:
Ideally, we would like Mark to cut our baby’s cord once it has stopped pulsating.

If I have not needed any previous medical intervention that would increase risks from blood loss, I would prefer a natural 3rd stage. If a managed 3rd stage is necessary, my next preference would be for delayed active management and for the cord to finish pulsating before the drug is administered.

I would like to attempt to breastfeed my baby immediately if possible. I would like as much time as possible to bond with our baby before she is taken for weighing etc - unless there are medical reasons which over rule this. My husband and I would like to find out the sex of our baby ourselves. My husband and I would like to spend some quiet time together with our baby at this time.

I am happy for our baby to have the vitamin K injection.

If I have a tear or episiotomy, I am happy to have stitches immediately after the birth.

If the labour has gone very smoothly and I have been able to breast feed without problems then I would like to be discharged home after six hours.

If she has to go to a special baby unit for any reason, I would like to express milk to give to her.



Finally, although I have written this birth plan, I am happy to be lead by the experience of the midwife team at any point that it is deemed beneficial to me and our baby.

Thank you in advance for your kindness and support during this experience. I value your knowledge and expertise and appreciate that you have only our best interests at heart.

Been getting lots of movements, each time I try to take a video or picture though it doesn't really show anything. Took this one couple of evenings ago and it does show a big stretch over on the right hand side.

Little wa-wa is lying on the right side (and has been for a long time), with her head down and her little feet keep kicking me under the ribs. She moves her feet alot, but often does big stretches out to the side also.

Last day staying with Granny and Grandpa today, so I went in the pool with Fidget before we left, which was an opportunity to get some clear belly shots...


After Saturday's drama, mini-C has not been still today, as I type there is such grooving, I feel I am a cement mixer. This is very reasuring now, rather than slightly annoying.


I have tried to get some video of the grooving, but it just doesn't show up.

Blimey - nothing like having a few days away from home towards the end of your pregnancy to bring on the drama!

This morning Granny and Grandpa took Fidget in with them and sorted out her breakfast too, so M and I had a lovely long lie in. As I was having a shower and getting dressed I started to realise I hadn't felt mini-C move yesterday, we had been busy at the beach, but when she gets going she is pretty vigorous so I started to feel a bit worried. M came in and we decided to go to the local surgery that supposedly had a drop in session on Saturday mornings, but arriving there we found it closed. We got back to Granny and Grandpa's and found a number to call instead. The lady on the phone was very nice and made an appointment for me at Poole Hospital for 1:30. This was quite handy as we had been planning to go to Poole Park in the afternoon anyway and Poole Hospital is right opposite. After a quick bit of lunch we all set off.

Granny and Grandpa took Fidget to the park and M and I went into the outpatients. We had to wait for nearly an hour, but it was quite nice to spend time with M in the waiting room. It was as we were sat there that mini-C really started to groove around - brilliant! But of course I felt a little silly when we were finally called, but still felt sure we had done the right thing. The receptionist was funny, he came over trying to hide a urine sample pot and hand it to me really discretely. Pregnant lady and wee - who cares really, but he was clearly trying to be really discreet - bless! Anyway we went in and the doctor was very kind and didn't make me feel bad, he still went through all the tests, so checked my wee, took blood pressure (110/75) then got out the baby listener jobby and the heartbeat was good and strong.

It was all a bit more stressful being away from home, as I didn't have my notes, didn't know any of the numbers of who to call etc. It has been really relaxing to be here and I will miss having the help and being able to put up my feet all day, plus the lie-ins and time with M, but it will be reassuring to be home. Feel like we are really on the final stretch and make sure everything is ready.

Woke up this morning and needed to go to the loo, nothing unusual there...stood up and tottered across the room sideways, I was so dizzy and lightheaded. M thought I was capering about. I got back to bed and the room was spinning. M went back to sleep but I laid there worrying for a while. I felt like I needed to get up and have a drink and something to eat, I didn't want to wake M, but I felt unable to get up on my own. He woke up and helped me down to breakfast, I ate some cereal and had a smoothie but I could hardly hold my head up.

I went back up to bed and slept for a while longer, then M brought more fruit juice and a cereal bar, after a bit more of a sleep I felt able to get up and have a shower. We were supposed to go out to some nearby woods today for a walk round and let Fidget have a clamber round the play things, but I felt like I shouldn't go out and spent most of the day sat in Granny's comfy chair with my feet up. It is lucky we were here really as Granny and Grandpa looked after Fidget and kept her happy and busy and M was able to look after me which was really nice. He even went out to the shops and bought me some magazines. He did really well with limited instruction and brought a hair magazine (as requested), Marie Claire and InStyle (2 for £5 offer!), plus a cake.

Not sure what it was about really, I know my last posting I went on about not wanting to eat, but yesterday I still ate well, though I suppose if I am honest I was a little more cautious about a second helping but not to the point I thought it would have any effect. I guess it was also quite a busy day as Granny and I went shopping for the day, so there was quite a bit of walking despite the stops for cups of tea and lunch.

I hope I feel ok tomorrow, I would really like to take Fidget to the beach, at least there will be little walking with that. We'll see, I guess.

My stomach is now giving me some real jip. Yesterday I didn't eat a particularly enourmous amount, for breakfast I had a bowl of cereal, a yoghurt and a small pastry. We had a pub lunch and I had a steak and ale pie with veg and chips, I shared a fair bit of the pie with Fidget. In the afternoon I had a few crisps and nibbles and then had a sandwhich for tea plus a sliver of pear tart. All very yummy, all pretty healthy and balanced. But that evening I was in such pain, as there was no room at all, I felt my sides were splitting, my muscles at my side were straining and so painful. My rather irrational reaction was that I didn't want to eat anymore, which I know is stupid and I wont do, but it was just so horrible, and it has been getting worse and worse like that and I know that I still have a few weeks left where mini-C will be growing and growing and there will be less and less room.


With Fidget I didn't have many stretchmarks on my stomach (lots on my boobs - but hey), apart from a small patch above my belly button. This time the patch above my belly button was visible again, but until recently nothing else, but it has now got more stretched and messy stretch lines are appearing in a vertical plane below my belly button which I find really upsetting. Some nights I can almost feel the skin stretching which is terrifying, the thought of having the scars is upsetting but also the physcological effect of feeling my skin going beyond its limit and starting to give up is frightening. I hope it doesn't get too much worse - everytime I go to a bathroom with a mirror I check they haven't got worse. I might take a picture. They probably don't look bad at all, but I feel really deflated by their arrival.

34 week pictures - taken on Monday this week...

I think I was feeling rather grumpy at the time, I was feeling pretty urrrrggg earlier this week. I feel very big - I know that my bump is very neat and I am grateful for that, but I just feel that I am large - that I fill up the space. I put on clothes and they just flooob outwards and make me feel like a table with a fussy tablecloth on it in a stuffy old house.


As I write this, I am in a much better headspace. Today M and I went to a partner's workshop. I have been going to active birthing classes each week led by a lady called Vivien. There are some basic principles to an active birth...

• Its active as opposed to passive, so we learn about labour and birth in more detail and consider what choices we might make in different situations.
  
• Its active as opposed to static, so its about moving around, giving the baby plenty of room to come out, getting into positions to be most comfortable
• We learn about breathing techniques - the main principle being breath out for longer than you breath in "in for 4, out for 6", this helps to cope with the pain
• Its about getting into a headspace where you are ready to cope with the pain, trying not to get overwhelmed, understanding if you are coping and if so keeping on, if not - making active choices about pain relief etc

So today, M and I went to a partner workshop. We were really grateful for N and little I coming over to spend the afternoon with Fidget so we could go. It was great to have M there learning about this stuff, really reassuring for me. He is great at retaining information, and is so supportive, so I am pleased we are coming from the name direction and can really work together. We learnt about the birth process, asking questions, breathing techniques, we watched some useful videos and finished it all off with some massage which was really nice.

So it's not long to go now, I feel pretty prepared. I just have to pack my hospital bag and write my birth plan. M and I have made a few different playlists of music with different feels, one with very relaxing music, one which is about moving and one which the tracks are a bit more can-do and motivating. M has to get the crib down from the loft and I may need to get a new mattress cos I don't think we protected it very well. I am looking forward to getting off work. 16th September is my last working day, but I am taking quite a few days off before then. Fidget is going to be staying in nursery 2 days a week so I will have a few days to myself, which i am looking forward to, so I can get my hair done, get any final bits I need to buy, but then relaxing as much as possible.

It feels really close now, and I do feel ready, not scared.

One thing I was thinking though, is because I was induced last time, and we went in on the day, and there was a very managed build up to the whole thing, it will probably be very strange to have labour start when its going to start - ie as a surprise, weird to think it could start anywhere rather than it starting while I am already at the hospital. This time we could be early, which I sort of hope not - even though I definitely don't want to be late and go down that road again - but I hope I do get some time off to relax when I finish work, but hey ho - what will be will be...

29 weeks...

My bump is certainly a proper bump and I am noticeably pregnant. It is a very round neat bump, pretty much all baby - it was the same with Fidget though I feel slightly bigger this time - but not by much evidently as most people don't believe I am 6 months.

I certainly don't mind having a small, neat bump. So far no stretch marks which is great and it is easier to get away without having to have all maternity clothes. I have a few long t-shirts from last time that are fine and then my 2 pairs of maternity trousers.

I did get a couple of maternity skirts from ebay for work as in the hotter weather I am finding it hard in trousers and still need something smart.


For saying my bump is neat - there isn't alot of room left inside. The reason it is so neat is that there is alot of me for baby to hide in (being tall), but I do feel like I need a pressure release valve or something. I need to eat lots to keep my energy up - but there is just no room. I struggle to bend down and put on my shoes or pick something up.


Sleeping at night is a bit difficult as I need to get up more regularly than before to go to the loo and also I am getting a lot of pain in my hips so have to keep switching which side I lie on.

I have started sorting out Fidget's baby clothes. M got them all down from the loft, we sorted out the smaller ones and put the rest back up. M spent much of Monday washing them all and now I need to get them organised into the drawers in the nursery.

We also got the car seat and baby seat down, so I feel like I am making progress on my earlier list. We have bought a couple of packs of tiny nappies. And this evening I have been checking out nursing bras online.

Hot milk look cool http://www.hotmilklingerie.co.nz/lingerie/. Being pregnant with Fidget and breastfeeding - my boobs (or boops as Fidget calls them) got rather big. 32F to be precise. I think before this I hadn't been properly measured as I was in 34C but anyway. They never really got smaller after I finished breastfeeding. And now they are just getting bigger. I am busting out of my most roomy 32F, so goodness knows what size I am now. I will head to PerfectFit in Keynsham soon to get properly measured and then probably buy some more online later.

I am scared at the moment about lack of sleep. Fidget doesn't nap reliably during the day, so if mini-C isn't sleeping well at night I am going to be shattered! We will just have to deal with it when we get there, but it makes me feel exhausted already to think about it.

I have been really slack at posting, so here I am at almost 27 weeks. This picture was taken midweek, last week. I have a definite bump now. Lots of people say it is quite a neat bump which it probably is but I do feel it is bigger than with Fidget. I am definitely struggling more with clothes, particularly in the hot weather we have been having as I have few skirts that fit and no shorts.

The hot weather hasn't been too bad but it makes me even more lethargic than before. Still feeling good health wise but just so tired, so I find looking after Fidget tiring particularly as she is currently having a "napping is for wimps" period.

I can't believe I am nearly at my third trimester it is pretty crazy.

Mush's baby boy Leo was born on Tuesday morning.

He is a lovely healthy looking baby but unfortunately has an infection, so they have had to stay in hospital. Yesterday evening N picked me up and we went in to see them both.

Mush is looking really well, and her birth story is inspiring as she managed to get through a 17hr labour using only a tens machine. Leo is such a cutie, I couldn't beleive how small and light he was, I couldn't remember Fidget being that small, even though his birth weight was heavier than Fidget. It was lovely having cuddles with him, with him just yawning and stretching and regarding me out of one eye.

Sitting at Mush's bedside in the same hospital, with the weather outside being very similar to when Fidget was born took me back as if it were yesterday we were there. I could almost taste the chocolate bars I had had stashed in my bedside locker! It was actually a very positive experience, the first time we went back to the hospital I felt really sick just being back there. But this was very different, and I really felt ready to do this and felt that it doesnt need to be bad and scary.

Up to now I havent really done anything to prepare for the birth (apart from yoga), but I came back wanting to get ready, and in doing so, accepting and welcoming what is coming next, ie the birth, which is scary but can be much more positive and I can do it.

So things that need to be done (not in any particular order):

• Fix-up the safety rail on Fidget's new bed
• Move Fidget into her new room
• Tidy up the nursery
• Get the clothes down from the loft, sort out which ones will be needed initially, wash them and put them away
• Figure out what additional clothes etc are needed
• Get a new nursing bra
• Tidy up the porch (so the prams can fit in)
• Get the pram down from the loft and clean it
• Get the crib down from the loft and clean it
• Get a new matress for the crib
• Write a birth plan
• Read-up on birth
• Re-read books "the social baby" and "why love matters"
• Get teeny-weeny nappys
• Buy expressing bags
• Decide on names
• Pack hospital bag

I've probably forgotten lots and of course I dont need to do this all right now, but I do feel ready now to make a start.

Yesterday we went for my 20 week scan. We got to the hospital early and M dropped me off while he and Fidget went to park the car. They called me in 15 minutes before my appointment time but M still wasnt back from parking. I asked if I could phone him but was bustled into the room and told the receptionist would send him in.


The nurse went through the scan process and everything was normal and healthy. She then went out to see if M was there, but he wasnt. She had a look to see what the sex of the baby is. It was a funny veiw of the baby's little bottom cheeks and legs above that, she said she was pretty sure it was a girl (though you can never be sure) and I would have to agree. So by then we were finished even though it was 10 minutes before my appointment time. I went out to the waiting room to find a furious M just got to the desk and complaining about there being no parking.


Fortunately the kind nurse had offered to let us go back in for a quick look if M got there within a few minutes. So we went back in and had another breif tour.


The picture was really clear and it was so cool to see our little baby kicking and moving around. We got quite a few pictures.

My 17 week picture...

at which point I was 78.9kg.

Been feeling good now the morning sickness is gone and eating very well. Get really tired still which is the only complaint I have at the moment.

Definitely got a baby belly now, it popped up in the last week or so. Am having a bit of a clothing crisis with it though as have very few trousers that fit.

Had the midwife appointment last week, it was very much in and out, apparently my iron levels are excellent, all my tests are back normal. Had a listen to the baby's heartbeat which was great.

Yesterday at work I felt the baby moving properly for the first time, just like he was flicking his finger on my belly down on the left hand side for a while, then a bit later on it was central on my lower stomach. V. cool!

Ticker is updated now to count down to new due date of 5th October. Been feeling much better over the last week. Have had more energy to do a few jobs around the house and things I had been needing to do like scanning and sewing. Got my next midwife appointment next week, looking forward to it.

Got my 14 week picture here....

starting to get a tiny belly I recon.

Good news is that the morning sickness is over, it had been getting better over the last week, and then at the weekend I realised that I hadn't felt ill in a little while and that I could really fancy a snack or 3. I have been able to eat much stronger foods, sweets and such which is kind of good and bad, I hope I dont go overboard now I can eat!!

Went for the 12 week dating scan tonight. Thanks to Helen from work for sitting for Fidget.

It was really quiet at the ante natal unit and we were straight in. At first she moved the scanner around and I couldn't see anything and I had that horrible feeling there would be nothing there. but then a little head and a spine could be seen, and little legs and hands.

He kept hiccuping and jumping about, you could see a little heartbeat it was so cool, i did find it very emotional and really for the first time started to think about this new baby being real. I think he looks like a he, but that is not based on anything!!

Fortunately there is only one little cheeker in there, no twins, triplets etc.

My due date is now 5th October, and I am supposedly 12 weeks and 2 days not 6 days. But to be honest the method she had for measuring and getting the date didn't seem to be that accurate to me.

Bit of a posting gap, this is my 12 week picture (tommorrow I will be 13 weeks), been feeling so knackered in the evenings that just the thought of picking up my computer is tiring.

Tonight we are off for the 12 week dating scan, I am looking forward to it, and to getting confirmation that I am really pregnant - not just suffering from some disease that makes you really tired and sick.

Been feeling better sickness wise, still can't stomach quite a lot of things, but there is enough that I can eat, and I am trying to eat little and often which is helping.