34 week pictures - taken on Monday this week...

I think I was feeling rather grumpy at the time, I was feeling pretty urrrrggg earlier this week. I feel very big - I know that my bump is very neat and I am grateful for that, but I just feel that I am large - that I fill up the space. I put on clothes and they just flooob outwards and make me feel like a table with a fussy tablecloth on it in a stuffy old house.


As I write this, I am in a much better headspace. Today M and I went to a partner's workshop. I have been going to active birthing classes each week led by a lady called Vivien. There are some basic principles to an active birth...

• Its active as opposed to passive, so we learn about labour and birth in more detail and consider what choices we might make in different situations.
  
• Its active as opposed to static, so its about moving around, giving the baby plenty of room to come out, getting into positions to be most comfortable
• We learn about breathing techniques - the main principle being breath out for longer than you breath in "in for 4, out for 6", this helps to cope with the pain
• Its about getting into a headspace where you are ready to cope with the pain, trying not to get overwhelmed, understanding if you are coping and if so keeping on, if not - making active choices about pain relief etc

So today, M and I went to a partner workshop. We were really grateful for N and little I coming over to spend the afternoon with Fidget so we could go. It was great to have M there learning about this stuff, really reassuring for me. He is great at retaining information, and is so supportive, so I am pleased we are coming from the name direction and can really work together. We learnt about the birth process, asking questions, breathing techniques, we watched some useful videos and finished it all off with some massage which was really nice.

So it's not long to go now, I feel pretty prepared. I just have to pack my hospital bag and write my birth plan. M and I have made a few different playlists of music with different feels, one with very relaxing music, one which is about moving and one which the tracks are a bit more can-do and motivating. M has to get the crib down from the loft and I may need to get a new mattress cos I don't think we protected it very well. I am looking forward to getting off work. 16th September is my last working day, but I am taking quite a few days off before then. Fidget is going to be staying in nursery 2 days a week so I will have a few days to myself, which i am looking forward to, so I can get my hair done, get any final bits I need to buy, but then relaxing as much as possible.

It feels really close now, and I do feel ready, not scared.

One thing I was thinking though, is because I was induced last time, and we went in on the day, and there was a very managed build up to the whole thing, it will probably be very strange to have labour start when its going to start - ie as a surprise, weird to think it could start anywhere rather than it starting while I am already at the hospital. This time we could be early, which I sort of hope not - even though I definitely don't want to be late and go down that road again - but I hope I do get some time off to relax when I finish work, but hey ho - what will be will be...